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Tuesday 24 April 2018

When words and phrases go wrong - a giggle at malapropisms

We all need a giggle now and then and I have to admit, some of the funniest moments I have come across are when people have got words and phrases totally wrong!  My husband once got "boils my blood" and "gets my goat" mixed up and declared that something really "boils my goat!"  and someone I know who shall remain nameless, in order to spare their blushes, labelled the pain au chocs in their shop as "pannow shocks" 

Comedy examples of when words and phrases go wrong - a giggle at malapropisms

My youngest sister thought 'make ends meet' was 'make ends meat' like the end cuts of a joint of meat, and I only found out recently that a hand glider was actually a hang glider....

A long time ago now, I asked some of my fellow bloggers about some of the funniest malapropisms they had come across and they didn't disappoint! I have finally found a spare few moment to put them together for your enjoyment....

Dave -  My missus always laughs at me for getting sayings mixed up.  I once wrote for all intensive purposes rather than for all intents and purposes. - www.thedadventurer.com

Samantha - My husband, until very recently, thought the phrase "to make ends meet" was "to make hens meat" it still makes me laugh now. So much so that I now say that instead of the real phrase! - https://chocolateandwineandillbefine.com 

Nellie - Someone said 'the worlds your lobster' to me once and he wasn't joking  - littleshitsandgiggles

Julie - My hubby always gets idioms wrong. He once said in a staff meeting, "he wouldn't say boo to a ghost!"  (Should be goose in case you are wondering!) - http://www.mightyduxburys.com

Nicola - I remember as a student being in a hipster cafe and an old woman came in and asked for a 'cup of chino'  - http://mummytodex.com/

Louise - My mum asked me if I wanted "decapitated tea" when I was pregnant http://littleheartsbiglove.co.uk

Laura - Not a saying, but a mis-pronunciation, I met a lady I had only spoken to via-email and when I met her I said "Nice to meet you See-o-ban"....turns out you don't pronounce Siobhan that way!!!  - www.fivelittledoves.com

Cassie - I get rat arsed and shit faced muddled so used to say  that I was very rat faced lol. Little did I know I was preparing myself for motherhood when any cuss words are repeated by my toddler so I have to find safe alternatives lol - http://www.gorgeousgeorgesmama.wordpress.com

Leanne - My sister always used to say she was "in the walls" instead of "in the wars"! - www.asliceofmylifewales.com

Aimee - My friend always gets sayings wrong. 'If daggers could kill' (instead of 'if looks could kill') was one of her finest! - mumamie

Julie  - A friend of mine has been "as white as a sheep" on many an occasion (funny every time) and another friend once told me how she hated to "go off on a tandem" 😐 which was hilarious but I did tell her that I thought she meant tangent unless she had been off somewhere on a bicycle made for two... - www.mamaowl.co.uk

Zoe - my sister was working at mcdonalds and let slip that she had been calling the Caesar salad "kasar (say it how its spelt) salad. she wondered why she was getting funny looks when I told her! - www.abeautifulabode.co.uk

Clare - I've always said to "flog a gift horse in the mouth" rather than to "flog a dead horse/look a gift horse"  - www.mumsymidwife.com

Laura - Not something I have used but the amount of people I saw that wrote 'trickle treat' instead of trick or treat really got to me over Halloween! - www.mumoffivestayingsane.co.uk

Sophie Clare - My lovely hubby has been convinced for decades that the well-loved nursery rhyme "Baa Baa Black Sheep" includes the line "and one for the day". Fair to say he felt a bit sheepish when he found out it wasn't correct at all, pardon the pun! - http://www.sophieandlily.co.uk

Rachel  -  An old work colleague once described herself as being "cock handed" instead cack handed. She had no idea why the rest of us were laughing so much! -  www.ordinaryhopes.com

Carissa - Up until a few years ago I thought it was 'insect day' instead of inset day!!!  - http://www.littlelikelylads.com/

Jenni - My step dad gets donkey's years and once in a blue moon mixed so he says 'donkey's moons'. My husband (who is Danish) thought that we were all saying 'boar leg' instead 'ball ache' -  oddsocksandlollipops

Nikki - When we were struggling to have a baby, my mum told me a story about a woman having a baby after having HIV. I was perplexed until I realised she meant IVF! Also, when I was studying psychology at college, my friend introduced me to someone, mentioning that I was studying sociology. When I corrected her, she waved her hand airily, 'oh well, they all begin with S' - www.yorkshirewonders.co.uk

Becky - My gran once told an optician she had a tear in her rectum as she'd muddled that with retina! - https://littlebigandme.wordpress.com

Sarah -  My sister and I accidentally ended up at a tango music recital in Argentina (we thought it was dancing) but it was lovely - in fact my sister claimed it brought tears to her ears! - http://www.mumzilla.co.uk

Lauren -  I am always seeing people sell Chester draws instead of chests of drawers! -  https://www.scrapbookblog.co.uk

Have you come across any funny malapropisms yourself? Let me know if the comments!

Sarah x 

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