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Tuesday 11 May 2021

"My child drank the toilet water"…and other things I've Googled

Being a parent in the 21st century isn’t easy. With modern inventions comes new risks and dangers, but there is one thing we have that our parents before us didn’t: Google.
my child drank the toilet water and other things ive googled

The day you fall pregnant with your first child is the day your Google list starts...and then it grows exponentially from that point onwards. Questions we would never dare to ask our fellow NCT mate (“why are my labia swollen” if you’re wondering) suddenly make their way into our search bar and fill us with a feeling of solidarity as our results page is flooded with answers or similar questions from other anonymous mums asking the exact same questions. Usually.

I’m no stranger to Dr Google - he and I have a long history of reassurance requests and middle of the night panic questions. He’s the friend that’s always available for advice, and although sometimes you may have to search through some shady advice to get to the genuine help, generally he never lets me down....and most importantly, he never judges. Sometimes in life things happen that you just don’t want to admit to...Ok, quite a lot of things will happen as a parent that you don’t want to admit to - Mr Google has you covered...

The story of how I came to ask Dr Google about toilet water...

It was a dark, winter’s evening one midweek bath-time in December. I was at home on my own with a 1 (almost 2) year old Arthur, running his bath ready for the bedtime routine. A couple of months pregnant with my second child, I had been struggling with morning sickness and nausea and frequently ran to stick my head down the toilet “just in case”.
Never underestimate how much a small child will notice and take in...and how much they don’t understand. Turns out, Arthur thought I was doing something else! After removing his clothes for the bath, I turned to get a towel from the cupboard and a minute or so later, I turned back to see he was drinking the water out of the toilet bowl, and then washing his face (and body) with it!! Much panic ensued, and after envisaging imminent child death by toilet bacteria due to my own lack of observation, and then the certain imprisonment of the not-so-responsible parent, I calmed down just enough to search on Google: “My child drank toilet water”, and wait for the results…

Basically, I was saved by two things:

  1. The toilet had been flushed and so did not contain any nasty additional ingredients
  2. We didn’t have bleach in the toilet or other toilet cleaner chemicals

Arthur is still here to tell the tale, that’s the important thing, but this isn’t the only time I’ve had to ask Google to help me sort out my parenting issues. Here is a list of Google searches that I, and others, have tapped into our browser…

· Itchy nipples when pregnant normal?
· Early signs of pregnancy
· How to work out if your baby is a girl or boy
· Does pineapple have the same enzyme as sperm and can it induce labour?
· What age do babies sleep through the night?
· Can I die from sleep deprivation?
· Signs and symptoms of sleep deprivation
· Should I wake my baby if they nap for more than 3 hours?
· Should I wake my newborn to breastfeed?
· What are the seeds in my baby’s poo?
· Why does my baby’s poo smell like sulphur?
· My baby won’t stop crying
· Dealing with baby colic
· When will my baby have tears when they cry?
· Why is my baby grunting like a hedgehog?
· Signs and symptoms of a prolapse
· I can’t feel when I’m having a wee
· Contractions in my vagina post birth
· Will my vaginal stitches rip open?
· How long after birth can I wait to do a poo?
· What is the difference between a 3rd and 4th degree tear?

Any of these sound familiar??

Sarah x

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