Monday, 19 October 2015

The diary of a 9 month old escape artist

My name is Arthur, I am 9 months old and I LOVE to break free! My Mummy thought it was great at first, she used to clap and tell me how clever I was...

Today things have taken a drastic turn! I managed to tip my baby bouncer over whilst Mummy was on the toilet and I crawled out of the room with it strapped to my back!! 


baby 9 months

(That'll teach her - sitting down to do a wee - why does she think nappies were even invented??! ...You just carry on making my lunch Mamma, whilst simultaneously singing me a song so that I am fully entertained and then just do your wee then!)

Honestly, grown ups!


Trouble is, I think my Mummy quite likes sitting down to do her wee wees because now she looks a bit different - her mouth is pointing in the wrong direction and she isn't clapping at me! Seriously, I tried SO hard with this one and not one single bit of recognition...and now Mummy is on the phone to my beloved Daddy talking about padded walls and baby harnesses ...please send help!!!!

Clearly Mummy isn't going to congratulate me on my latest achievement, so here is the journey to my greatest escape so far...

 Here I am at 7 weeks, I rolled off my mat trying to reach a toy...

baby 9 months

Mummy was pretty happy with this one, until she realised I could roll around the room and cause all sorts of mischief - she stopped leaving me on my own after that!

baby 9 months

I didn't just stop at daytime escape plans - oh no! Mummy and Daddy used to swaddle me in a blanket because I used to hit my face in my sleep (well, that's what THEY said anyway - I still maintain it was them!) I managed to break free of every single one of them bad boys! Oh, the number of times they used to come back in and just wrap me up again - did they not know it was all just a game to me?? Ha! suckers.

baby 9 months

They soon got tired of that game (no stamina!) and started putting me in those sleeping bags for babies. Big mistake. Aint no match for me!  Here I am celebrating after making it out of there with my dignity intact ( we did have an embarrassing moment a couple of weeks ago where my PJ bottoms ended up around my ankles in the process - apparently Mummy thought that WAS funny...)

baby 9 months

All that rolling around is apparently the reason I keep hitting my face on the cot, so Mummy put these ridiculous cot bumpers on the sides. I think she's just trying to cage me in. Guess what? PEEPO! ......Apparently getting trapped in these is actually quite dangerous so she took them off again....

baby 9 months


No problem! I'll just eat my way out!


baby 9 months


At 5 months I learnt how to crawl - thank the lord!! This is the day she tried to leave me so she could 'have a cup of tea' - she didn't try that again! Silly Mummy, you'd have thought she'd have realised by now - wherever she goes, I go! Or else!

baby 9 months

She got me lots of fancy things to try and get me to sit still 'for a few minutes' ( that means AGES!) Here I am climbing out of the bumbo, and the ball pool....

baby 9 months

I am starting to think my Mummy really just wanted a pet rabbit - why else does she keep putting me in these containers??!

baby 9 months


No sooner had I worked out how to climb out of my pram did THIS happen:


baby 9 months

Defeated. I'm still working on this one...

baby 9 months

This was my initial attempt at escaping the bouncer at 6 months - not a bad effort, and totally fooled Mummy into thinking I'd never succeed. Fool.

baby 9 months

Bath time became my next goal and I totally nailed it! Mummy got soaked - I love water games it was so much fun!!

baby 9 months

She took me to my friend's house and we came up with a plan! He distracted her and I got to work on my escape route...

baby 9 months

Foiled! I like playing there anyway, I just wanted to teach Mummy a lesson. She's just not getting it!

baby 9 months

Which brings me to the present day. Yes, I managed to climb out of my high chair - I didn't want my porridge! Goldilocks wouldn't have put up with that rubbish, why should I?! I'm outta here...

baby 9 months

...going to live my life as a snail with my bouncer chair on my back...

Mummy's not too happy about it - she's talking about needing some help...What should I tell her??




Why not read some of my other posts:

Dealing with colic and reflux in babies

For all the Mummies going back to work...this one's for you

Having a baby - the things they never told me about pregnancy, labour and motherhood


The diary of a 9 month old escape artist


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